I turned 35 this weekend. In honour of that exciting day, I'll be doing a series of posts that will eventually result in my sharing 35 things I'm thankful for. I started these several days before my birthday, but I was spoiled by amazing friends and as a result, I didn't finish typing them in. So it's a little late, but they are coming in the next few days.
35. My stuffed blue bear that Eddie M. gave me for my 8th birthday. When I was young, I changed his name to match the name of whichever guy I had a crush on. At some point, though, I felt that was giving the bear a complex, so around 10, I named him Blue Bear, and he has been with me ever since. He's traveled around the world and even though he's spent too much of the last year packed away, Blue Bear is one of my most treasured possessions and a nice reminder that I'm never really far from home.
34. The two men in my life that I've loved. When I think of the others I've tried to make it wok with, I realize how special these men were in my life. I feel lucky that they are who I've spent my time loving. I'm grateful for the lessons these relationships have given me.
33. My mistakes. Sometimes, I've judged people too harshly at first, but through mutual recognition of our strengths and weaknesses, we've established great friendships. Sometimes, my mistakes have included over-extending myself and not protecting my own time and space. This has taught me how to do that now (well, sort of). These mistakes though, have often resulted in great memories and have often provided me with a greater appreciation of my own strengths and weaknesses. I have become resilient through them.
32. That I'm not a corporate lawyer anymore. Well, mostly not a corporate lawyer anymore. I have friends who love it and I deeply respect them, but corporate law was never for me. It's not why I went to law school; it's not who I am at the heart of it; and ultimately, it made me miserable even after I left it. Human rights is what I was meant to do. When I think of what else I could be doing with my life - things that would pay better, or give me an easier life in closer proximity to my family - I realize that I would probably be miserable doing anything other than what I am. I realize this might sound like corporate law was a "mistake," but it wasn't. It was a period of time I needed to go through, and it taught me a lot of valuable skills. I'm just glad I didn't need to do it for very long before I really found myself again. This is being true to myself, and if I had never done corporate law, I might never have realized that and always wondered about the path I didn't take.
31. The men in my life I've never hooked up with. I've already written a full letter to them, but I'll add an addendum here. Since it's the 200th anniversary of Pride and Prejudice today, I have heard a lot about how Mr. Darcy isn't real. Until this year, I've thought this true as well and lamented it with all the other women Jane Austin influenced. But, I've come to realize that (a) I probably wouldn't actually want to marry William Darcy because he's a bit of a twat at points (even though in the end his good elements come clearly through) and (b) if you want a good Mr. Darcy substitute without the initial snobbery, pride and vanity, you can apparently find them in Central Asia! This year, I've been spoiled by men in this region. It's caused a great deal of feminist introspection by one of my flatmates and me and we've come to realize how much we appreciate that these guys who, in so many ways, embody the patriarchal societies in which they've been raised (sorry guys but it's kind of true). Yet, their regular displays of chivalry are really appreciated in our house. The other day, we spent at least a half-hour discussing how this could be and came to the conclusion that it's because when they are kind to us in "traditional ways," it's never out of condescension or pride, but out of respect and love. They'll carry our bags for us not because they think we're helpless and unable to do it, but because they like serving and respecting us in this manner. They insist on walking me home not because they're actually worried about my getting robbed or assaulted (as I've pointed out numerous times, I've lived in my village for about 4 years without every coming to harm), but because they like serving and respecting us in this way. They are true sweet gentlemen, who are quiet and humble. And no - I'm not dating them; I'm just really impressed with these men and am lucky to have them in my life. So this is my advertisement for Central Asia. Women, if you want to meet a modern Mr. Darcy, go find a human rights activist from this area of the world. They're pretty freaking awesome.
30. My friend Julie, who first convinced me to go overseas. Every day, I thank God for her and her influence. I love my life and can't believe I get to live it, but I also know that if I hadn't met Julie, I might not be where I am today. She is, truly, a gift from God.
29. My teachers. Throughout my life, I've been blessed by great teachers. They have included or been my parents, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my cheerleaders, and my biggest supporters. They have challenged me and changed me, and they taught me how to do well what I love to do now.
28. My hometown. While I mean Cleveland generally, I also mean my actual suburb specifically. It was diverse and interesting and somehow still like a small town. The town has amazing people who taught me to look past differences and to serve both humbly and greatly. And while my high school class had more than 350, we had relatively few problems of bullying and a real camaraderie that still lasts today. My classmates and neighbours still impress me daily with their commitment to service and to making the world a better, brighter place to live.
27. Great Lakes Brewery. There's nothing like a GLB to make me feel like I'm at home. If only they delivered to the UK.
26. My time in Japan. I hate telling people now where I lived in Japan, getting their shocked and sympathetic looks when I say "Fukushima." I hate how they hesitate before asking me "So, um, when did you live there?" as if they're afraid I'm about to contaminate them with all my radioactivity. I hate the way they clearly want to pry but they don't want to seem like they're prying. That said, I loved my time there. I loved the way the people in that town always reached out to help one another, and me. I loved the craziness of my daily life there, the way my students ran up to talk to me, the way some of my teachers tried to avoid talking to me, and how simply going to the post office or grocery store became an exercise in cross-cultural communication. Japan gave me a greater appreciation for the daily strength and challenges of those who are illiterate in any society, and it gave me a greater sense of who I am and what I'm capable of. Plus, it's still a fun party trick to bust out a little Japanese after a beer or two.
25. My passports. They're like little portable reminders of the cool places I've been. And how awesome is it that a little set of papers can give you access to so many cultures, ideas, people, and unimaginable experiences? Postcards are nice and picture books are interesting, but my passports... they let me engage with so much.
35. My stuffed blue bear that Eddie M. gave me for my 8th birthday. When I was young, I changed his name to match the name of whichever guy I had a crush on. At some point, though, I felt that was giving the bear a complex, so around 10, I named him Blue Bear, and he has been with me ever since. He's traveled around the world and even though he's spent too much of the last year packed away, Blue Bear is one of my most treasured possessions and a nice reminder that I'm never really far from home.
34. The two men in my life that I've loved. When I think of the others I've tried to make it wok with, I realize how special these men were in my life. I feel lucky that they are who I've spent my time loving. I'm grateful for the lessons these relationships have given me.
33. My mistakes. Sometimes, I've judged people too harshly at first, but through mutual recognition of our strengths and weaknesses, we've established great friendships. Sometimes, my mistakes have included over-extending myself and not protecting my own time and space. This has taught me how to do that now (well, sort of). These mistakes though, have often resulted in great memories and have often provided me with a greater appreciation of my own strengths and weaknesses. I have become resilient through them.
32. That I'm not a corporate lawyer anymore. Well, mostly not a corporate lawyer anymore. I have friends who love it and I deeply respect them, but corporate law was never for me. It's not why I went to law school; it's not who I am at the heart of it; and ultimately, it made me miserable even after I left it. Human rights is what I was meant to do. When I think of what else I could be doing with my life - things that would pay better, or give me an easier life in closer proximity to my family - I realize that I would probably be miserable doing anything other than what I am. I realize this might sound like corporate law was a "mistake," but it wasn't. It was a period of time I needed to go through, and it taught me a lot of valuable skills. I'm just glad I didn't need to do it for very long before I really found myself again. This is being true to myself, and if I had never done corporate law, I might never have realized that and always wondered about the path I didn't take.
31. The men in my life I've never hooked up with. I've already written a full letter to them, but I'll add an addendum here. Since it's the 200th anniversary of Pride and Prejudice today, I have heard a lot about how Mr. Darcy isn't real. Until this year, I've thought this true as well and lamented it with all the other women Jane Austin influenced. But, I've come to realize that (a) I probably wouldn't actually want to marry William Darcy because he's a bit of a twat at points (even though in the end his good elements come clearly through) and (b) if you want a good Mr. Darcy substitute without the initial snobbery, pride and vanity, you can apparently find them in Central Asia! This year, I've been spoiled by men in this region. It's caused a great deal of feminist introspection by one of my flatmates and me and we've come to realize how much we appreciate that these guys who, in so many ways, embody the patriarchal societies in which they've been raised (sorry guys but it's kind of true). Yet, their regular displays of chivalry are really appreciated in our house. The other day, we spent at least a half-hour discussing how this could be and came to the conclusion that it's because when they are kind to us in "traditional ways," it's never out of condescension or pride, but out of respect and love. They'll carry our bags for us not because they think we're helpless and unable to do it, but because they like serving and respecting us in this manner. They insist on walking me home not because they're actually worried about my getting robbed or assaulted (as I've pointed out numerous times, I've lived in my village for about 4 years without every coming to harm), but because they like serving and respecting us in this way. They are true sweet gentlemen, who are quiet and humble. And no - I'm not dating them; I'm just really impressed with these men and am lucky to have them in my life. So this is my advertisement for Central Asia. Women, if you want to meet a modern Mr. Darcy, go find a human rights activist from this area of the world. They're pretty freaking awesome.
30. My friend Julie, who first convinced me to go overseas. Every day, I thank God for her and her influence. I love my life and can't believe I get to live it, but I also know that if I hadn't met Julie, I might not be where I am today. She is, truly, a gift from God.
29. My teachers. Throughout my life, I've been blessed by great teachers. They have included or been my parents, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my cheerleaders, and my biggest supporters. They have challenged me and changed me, and they taught me how to do well what I love to do now.
28. My hometown. While I mean Cleveland generally, I also mean my actual suburb specifically. It was diverse and interesting and somehow still like a small town. The town has amazing people who taught me to look past differences and to serve both humbly and greatly. And while my high school class had more than 350, we had relatively few problems of bullying and a real camaraderie that still lasts today. My classmates and neighbours still impress me daily with their commitment to service and to making the world a better, brighter place to live.
27. Great Lakes Brewery. There's nothing like a GLB to make me feel like I'm at home. If only they delivered to the UK.
26. My time in Japan. I hate telling people now where I lived in Japan, getting their shocked and sympathetic looks when I say "Fukushima." I hate how they hesitate before asking me "So, um, when did you live there?" as if they're afraid I'm about to contaminate them with all my radioactivity. I hate the way they clearly want to pry but they don't want to seem like they're prying. That said, I loved my time there. I loved the way the people in that town always reached out to help one another, and me. I loved the craziness of my daily life there, the way my students ran up to talk to me, the way some of my teachers tried to avoid talking to me, and how simply going to the post office or grocery store became an exercise in cross-cultural communication. Japan gave me a greater appreciation for the daily strength and challenges of those who are illiterate in any society, and it gave me a greater sense of who I am and what I'm capable of. Plus, it's still a fun party trick to bust out a little Japanese after a beer or two.
25. My passports. They're like little portable reminders of the cool places I've been. And how awesome is it that a little set of papers can give you access to so many cultures, ideas, people, and unimaginable experiences? Postcards are nice and picture books are interesting, but my passports... they let me engage with so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment