Praying for Peace: Iraq

Before I do the more humble work of setting up a prayerful situation, can I just take a moment to brag?

Because apparently my blog inspired Pope Francis.  What other explanation could there be for the fact that after I concentrated on Syria, South Sudan and the Holy Land ahead of Christmas, he mentioned those three countries / areas specifically in his Christmas day message (which is technically the Urbi et Orbi message, something I did not know before this year, so there's a little fun fact for you).

We rounded out our focus a little differently. I chose North Korea and he chose Nigeria, the DRC, and the Central African Republic, a place I will be focusing on next week because I feel like my relationship with Pope Francis should be reciprocal, after all. And the fact that there is a potential genocide kicking into high gear there. He also mentioned by name those suffering from the the typhoon in the Philippines.

But, ultimately, I think it's pretty clear the Pope is just following my lead.

So, I realize that this little, tiny blog did not actually inspire the Pope.  God does that.  But I think it's significant that the Pope continues to focus on Syria.  Yes, there's a 10% Christian population, but I don't think that's why the Pope focuses there. I think the Pope keeps coming back to Syria because God keeps asking us to come back to Syria.  To focus on Syria.  To pray for Syria.  But also to work for Syria.  So I want to quote the Pope now as we continue to pray:

"Let us continue to ask the Lord to spare the beloved Syrian people further suffering, and to enable the parties in conflict to put an end to all violence and guarantee access to humanitarian aid."

I also want to encourage those who are moved by Syria to donate money for humanitarian aid.  The UN's refugee agency, the International Committee of the Red Cross, Medicins Sans Frontieres / Doctors without Borders all can use monetary donations that will help fund their work reaching those in need both in and outside Syria, and those affected by the Syrian crisis or others crises - including those affected by conflicts in Nigeria, DRC, CAR, and Iraq (which I'll get to shortly).

With that, I want to use another Pope Francis quote (this must make my Jesuit PhD neighbour very happy as I think he's [semi-] secretly praying for me to become Catholic) --

"Let us never lose the courage of prayer!"

-- and transition to talking about Iraq, which will be my focus this week.

I have a confession: I often forget to pray for Iraq.  Okay, I do know that several of my friends just rolled their eyes, complaining that's not a real confession, but for a Christian American working in human rights, praying for Iraq is not something I should forget.

With all that has gone in other countries, though, the number of my friends present in Iraq has dwindled while the number affected by the Arab Spring or the ongoing conflicts in Syria, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, and South Sudan has rise. Friends in the Philippines and Japan, Nepal and Myanmar have me regularly praying for the humanitarian and transitional crisis there. Thailand gets some significant attention in my mind as well - thanks to friends working on detention issues, refugee issues, women's rights, etc.

So, my mind just doesn't focus on Iraq as much as it should.

This has changed recently, though, as a friend is currently with UNHCR - the UN's refugee agency - in Iraq.  And that has made me pay attention to the news from there more.  News like this:

• Thirty-five people were killed on Christmas day by bombings that targeted Christian areas. Another fifty were injured.  On a day in which the world celebrated the Prince of Peace - and I do mean the world as my Facebook feed was filled with Christmas wishes from people who are not Christians talking about how much they enjoy Christmas - al Qaeda apparently decided to actively work against peace. Al-Qaeda are increasingly active in Iraq and according to the NYT, the "[b]ombings on Christmas in Christian areas of Baghdad, which killed more than two dozen people, bore the hallmarks of a Qaeda operation."  Is it inappropriate to pray that al Qaeda remembers this verse from the Koran: 

• "There is no compulsion in religion." - Al Baqara 2:256 (it's only a part of the verse, but even in the broader context, this meaning remains).  A letter from 36 Islamic scholars to Pope Beneidct XVI, made it clear that this verse "was a reminder to Muslims themselves, once they had attained power, that they could not force another's heart to believe." 

• There's also this verse: "And if they incline to peace, do thou incline to it; and put they trust in God." - Al-Anfal 8:61.

• There's also this verse for them: "Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion." - Al Kafirun: 109:6. Again, that's only a pat of the verse, but even in the broader context, this meaning remains. 

• And again, "Let not hatred of any people seduce you into being unjust. Be just, that is nearer to piety." - Al Ma'idah 5:8

I'm clearly not a Muslim, but if you're going to work for a religious institution of power, shouldn't you work for one that remains faithful to, well, your faith?  [This applies to many "Christian" leaders in the US, too, [cough, cough].]

• Three members of an opposition group were just killed. The group, made up of Iranian exiles, live in a former US military base - Camp Liberty - and were attacked by an Iranian-backed militia operating in Iraq. 
• The US is sending more weaponry to Iraq to combat what is being called "the worst violence in years."  8,000 Iraqis have been killed.   

The situation in Iraq has never been good in my lifetime. In fact, the turmoil in Iraq goes back much further than my lifetime.  It is an area that has known colonialism, conflict, coups, and oppression.  It has not known peace - true peace.  As Frank [that's probably taking the joke a little too far for my Catholic family and friends] Pope Francis said:

True peace - we know this well - is not a balance of opposing forces. It is not a lovely “façade” which conceals conflicts and divisions. Peace calls for daily commitment . . ..

This is the kind of peace Iraq has not know.  At times, it has had the façade of peace - times in which there was no clear, active conflict, but where human rights violations were abundant.  They have known peace in which divisions were concealed not by placing nice but by might and brute force.

Iraq deserves better than this, and we are called to work for peace there. I want to note the totality of the Pope's statement on the art of making peace, as well as his invitation to those of the various faiths and non-believers to join together in spirit:

Peace calls for daily commitment, but making peace is an art, starting from God’s gift, from the grace which he has given us in Jesus Christ.

... 

And I am happy today too, that the followers of different religious confessions are joining us in our prayer for peace in Syria. Let us never lose the courage of prayer! The courage to say: Lord, grant your peace to Syria and to the whole world. And I also invite non-believers to desire peace with that yearning that makes the heart grow: all united, either by prayer or by desire. But all of us, for peace. 

So with that introduction to what is going on currently in Iraq, I want to pray.  As I've noted in previous posts, I will be praying as a Christian, but I hope that my non-Christian friends will join in in ways appropriate to their belief or non-belief.

Gracious Lord, We are called to be agents of your peace, and yet we so often fail.  Forgive us for our failings and help us to commit to serving your people and your vision here on Earth. 

Lord, we lift up the situation in Iraq to you, and we ask that you help us realize a true peace there. A peace that reflects the daily commitment of Iraqis - as well as those of us outside of Iraq - to live in harmony with one another, not ignoring or covering our differences, but working with them, working to understand them, and working through them to realize a respect, appreciation, honor and love for our neighbors in Iraq.

Lord, we lift up the victims of the recent spate of violence. The 8,000 Iraqis killed this year and their families.  The victims of the Christmas day bombings and their communities. Reveal yourself to them in their hour of need, comforting them and giving them a taste of your peace. Help them to overcome this time and to commit to ensuring that no one else suffers as they do.  Alleviate their pain, dear Father, Immanuel, our healer and comforter.

Lord, we lift up those engaged in humanitarian work in Iraq. Help them to do their work in safety and security. I specifically lift up A and her colleagues and ask that you bless their work on refugee issues. Give them strength, courage and wisdom as they work, and help them to alleviate suffering.

Lord, we ask that you change the hearts of those who would work to undermine peace.  Change the hearts of those who work against peace.  Help them to understand your calling for each of us on Earth - a calling that asks us to love our neighbors as ourselves. 

Grant wisdom to our political leaders - both in Iraq and outside of it. Help them to reach a path forward, help them to understand each other and to reconcile with one another, so that Iraq can join the other nations in saying "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors."  

Lord, let there be peace in Iraq. 

Lord, let there be peace in Iraq.

Lord, let there be peace in Iraq.

Amen.

The Prayer for Syria, Gaza, North Korea and South Sudan

Yesterday, I posted two posts that were, in actuality, Praying for Peace posts. The thing is, though, since it had been so long since I did the last one, I forgot one of the cardinal rules I set for myself: I'm supposed to end in a prayer.  I told people what to pray for, but I forgot to write my own prayer out.  So, here's that prayer...

Dear God,

Thank you for loving us so deeply, for knowing us so intimately, and for never, ever abandoning us, even while we abandon one another. I'm sorry we have failed so miserably at loving your children.  Let me rephrase: I'm sorry I fail so miserably at loving your children.  Please forgive me.

Lord, I lift up South Sudan to you, where your children are killing each other.  Lord, please bring peace there. I pray those who are persecuted find comfort in knowing you and ask that you stop the fighting and the killing and the persecution.  You tell us to pray for our enemies, though, so I also want to life up the persecutors, both past and present, and ask that you change their hearts. Help those who are fighting to put down the weapons of war and to search for your heart in this mess.  Help them to see you in those they are fighting - to see your love, to see your creation, and to see you as you live through each of us.  Lord, protect the civilians, and the UN forces, and those giving out aid and assistance.  Stabilize this new state and help them to transition to a place of sustainable peace.

Lord, I also lift up Gaza to you. I pray for those who have been displaced by the flooding there. Help them find refuge. Help them to rebuild their lives.  Help change the hearts of those who would limit the resources available to these, your children. Let there be a renewed commitment by the international community to alleviate the suffering of those in Gaza.  Bring them supplies and food and medical services, and offer them peace - true, sustainable, growing peace. I pray for all the leaders involved who can bring about a change here, give them heart responsive to those in need.  

Lord, I pray for peace on the Korean peninsula. I pray that you will move miracles in North Korea, changing the heart of those who lead there, allowing for freedom to enter. Give guidance to those with responsibility in this situation.

Finally, Lord, I lift up the Syrians to you. Lord, help those who are seeking refuge to find shelter; those in need of medical care to find relief; and those who are hungry, food.  Help those who are weary from war and freezing from the cold to find rest, warmth and peace. Help us to open our doors and our communities to those in need, to see in others ourselves and, more important, you and who you are.  Give those with power wisdom to see how we can offer our brothers and sisters relief, how we can push forward for peace, and how we can ensure that peace is sustainable. I pray for those working in aid agencies, and for the Red Cross and Red Crescent.  Help them to stay safe while being effective; help them to reach those in need.  Let those with money fill their funds up, so they can do their work.  Lord, I know you work miracles, so I ask that every dollar they get turn to an effectiveness ten-times that. Help me to remember how connected I am to those who seek asylum. Help me to be a better advocate for those in Syria, to find ways to work for peace and to alleviate suffering. Help us to love the Syrian people as we would wish to be loved, as we love ourselves, and our families.  Help us to serve them well, and completely from our hearts. Finally, Lord, I just pray for peace there.  Let us find peace on Earth - in Syria. Let the Syrians feel restored.  Help them Lord.

And Lord, I want to pray for my friends from Syria.  People I love and hold dear already - whose faces I see clearly whenever the news stories fail to tell me the names of the Syrians they cover.  I pray for M, M, M, A, S, and the others, whose families are still in Syria and who cannot leave.  Give them strength; keep them safe; and let them know each day how loved they area.  

I commit all these things to you, Lord, and seek your wisdom, your grace, and your love.
Amen.

Duck Dynasty and the World, Part 2: Syria

[This is the second part of a 2-part piece 3-part piece on the response of Christians to the Duck Dynasty situation; the third part is now the prayer for peace for Syria, Gaza, South Sudan, and North Korea.]

When I think about the attention given to the Duck Dynasty response, though, the thing that upsets me is how often the news discusses it before Syria.  An actual war with significant consequences for religious freedom for Christians in the Middle East is bumped so we can discuss whether an actor - who likely has a contract provision allowing for his suspension in circumstances just like this - is being persecuted because his employer is suspending his presence on TV (not even his primary income source) after insulting members of the audience.  

I’ve wanted to discuss Syria for the past few days. I started these blog posts long before Phil whats-his-name destroyed the internet – or at least my Facebook feed. I can’t stand what I see as the indifference people have towards the situation facing my friends and their families. 

Before I go further, I feel the need to explain a little about Syria to combat stereotypes people may have in their head. Like Lebanon, Syria has actually been a pretty safe country for Christians, on the relative scale of persecution of Christians world wide – or the relative scale of the persecution faced by minority religious believers in most states, including Muslims in Christian-dominant states and atheists and agnostics in a slew of states.  But back to Syria… Christians are a smaller part of the population than they are in Lebanon – about 10% for Syria while Lebanese Christians are almost 40% of the population there - and the Christians in Syria face dire consequences from this conflict. Christians are targeted by multiple sides in the conflict there, and if extremists win the war, Christian refugees may feel completely unable to return.

But all of that is one small part of the story in Syria. 

I’ve never been to Syria, but I have been lucky enough to end up with amazing Syrian friends, both Muslims and Christians. So when I think about Syria, it’s their faces I see.  It’s their families I think about.  It’s their communities I pray for. Their whole communities.

The last few days my mind and heart have been pre-occupied with those friends, and the people in Syria who are unable to leave and find safe refuge elsewhere.  The situation in Syria is grave. For those who would flee, though, the situation in Syrian refugee camps in Lebanon and Jordan may be just as bad.

There's been snow on the ground in the refugee camps, and the winter is expected to get worse.  The tents in the camps, though, are not made for snow - or for the extreme cold.  There aren't enough mattresses for people - or enough food and supplies.  

This, of course, encourages some people to stay in dangerous situations. If the options are living in danger in a place they know or living in danger in a place they don’t, many are likely to choose the former.  In Syria, that often means staying in cities where they risk dying of starvation.  Or dying from barrel bombs. Or from the cold. Or just dying -because they don't have the means to live.

The scene sounds like something out of The Hunger Games, minus the televised audience and the potential for one person to win food and a reprieve for their entire community.

I've been thinking a lot about the snow in Syria and the refugee camps in Lebanon and Jordan. Snow changes things.  

The temperature in my parents’ house is set at 71F/21.6C. Outside the house, the ground was covered by several inches of snow and ice until it rained last night. If the house dips to 69F/20C here, I can feel it. It means the timing mechanism on my parents’ heating had kicked in and I have to go fix it. I wear warm-ish clothes – sweatshirts and thick socks – and I have blankets wrapped around me. Right now, an electric fireplace is running nearby. Yet, when the snow is on the ground, I can feel those two degrees of difference. 

In the UK summer, 20C (69F) feels just fine to me. I would like it to be 22C (72F), but I’m okay with it being 20. In the Cleveland winter, 69F (20C) makes me reach for hot chocolate. It makes me find another blanket and turn up the heat a little.

Snow changes things.

What must it feel like, then, for the refugees who live in tents and sleep on mattresses in below freezing temperatures?  

1.4 million people will live in the refugee camps. 

Another 7.6 million will spend their winters in need in Syria itself. They will survive - or not - based on the provision of international aid.

Some read the stories of Syrian refugees in Lebanon and think, “Not our problem.”  Or worse, “there but by the grace of God…” 

But, it’s not the grace of God.  It’s a political choice.  It’s a political choice by the international community.  It’s a political choice by the US.

Why must refugees sleep in tents not designed for the cold?  Because Western leaders, amongst others, aren’t willing to offer resettlement options to those in need.  Because we won’t fund the UNHCR’s response in a meaningful way that would allow for something better than what is being offered.  Because it’s easy to get distracted by the shiny, sexy things of war – chemical weapons; and disputes at the UN – rather than think about the individuals on the ground, who have fled and who need us to be their neighbors, to serve them as Christ served us.

There are one million Syrian refugees in Lebanon (there are also Palestinian refugees that predate the Syrian ones). One million Syrian refugees.  It’s only 1/9 of the Syrians in need of humanitarian assistance, and yet it represents 1/4 of Lebanon’s total population. Lebanon only has 4.425 million people, but it is being asked to house one million of its neighbors in need of help.

In comparison, during the last financial year and according to data from the UN, the US granted asylum to approximately 25,300 (p. 46) while our July 2012 population was 313 million+.  So, we granted asylum to refugees representing .008%** of our population while Lebanon is housing refugees that make up 1/4 of its population. 

We also granted resettlement to some people – allowing them to apply to enter the country as refugees.  We almost doubled the number of asylum grants with refugee resettlement.  58,238 in 2012. In total, while Lebanon took in a million people, the United States – whose national pride takes the form of a statute that literally says “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free” – we took in 83,538 people.  That’s .0266% of our total population.  

We're not alone in our pathetic response to the Syrian refugee crisis - many other countries share the blame.  But we share it, too. Globally, the world rejected almost twice as many applications for asylum as they offered. 438,000 claims were rejected but only 261,900 people were granted asylum. (p.46)  

At a time when the global humanitarian crisis was at an all-time high, we – as an international community – rejected 2x as many claims for asylum as we granted.

When we do this to other human beings, we are leaving them impoverished.  In turn, we impoverish ourselves. 

Albert Einstein, Marlene Dietrich, Sigmund Freud, Hannah Arendt, Bela Bartok, Frederic Chopin, Victor Hugo, and former President of South Africa Thabo Mbeki were all refugees. The US also has two former Secretary of States – one Democrat and one Republican – it gained from granting refugee status: Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger.

We lose something when we leave people like this behind – when we care so little about those in need. We lose the potential, but we also lose ourselves, and we lose our faith. 

The book of James says “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead.” 

I know this passage raises issues for Christians – a debate over whether you can be saved by faith alone or need works to be saved.  That misses the whole point of the passage, though.  James isn’t discussing how one obtains salvation – yes, he uses the word ‘saved’ but the totality of what surrounds this passage indicates it’s not about salvation per se, but about what true faith means.  Faith should be motivating for us. And what does faith call us to do?  It calls us to love.  To love God and to love our neighbor. 

When we fail to offer refuge to those in need, we have failed to love. And when we fail to love, we have failed to show faith.  We have failed to live by faith. 

It’s easy to want to bomb something in the hopes that stops the war.  That’s a one-and-done kind of “service.” It’s cheap and easy and doesn’t require us to follow up. It allows us to wash our hands shortly after we’ve bombed people.

True love, though, isn’t easy.  And true love is what the Church is called to do.  

True love stretches beyond race or religion or ethnic identity.  True love is grand and encompassing.  True love means opening our borders to those looking to resettle.  And not for a ridiculously small 83,000 people.  We should love big – love strong – and open up our arms to really, truly help people. During the greatest humanitarian crisis of our time, we should be looking for ways to find Syrians to bring into our communities.  Anything less than that is not worthy of claims that we act in Christ’s name.

A friend of mine - a Christian from the Middle East - wrote the following, and I want to use it as the start of my prayer for Syria:

This Christmas I sincerely hope that nativity scenes will not be baby in the manger but the holy family as asylum seekers to Egypt... 

Yes, next time you hear demonization of asylum seekers as 'illegal migrants', do remember.. Christ and his family were asylum seekers who entered Egypt illegally fleeing for their lives after baby Jesus' birth. 

I pray that we remember how connected we are to the plight of those seeking asylum. We need to pray for those who are there in Syria - who are fleeing, and who are staying.  We need to pray that we become better advocates for them, and that we speak out more frequently on their behalf. We need to pray that we become better at responding to this crisis.  We pray for those in refugee camps, and those who, because of the conditions in the refugee camps, are staying in Syria.  We pray for those who are starving in Syria, and those who are freezing both in the camps and in Syria. We pray for our leaders, who decide who and how many to let into our borders in the midst of crisis.  We pray for those working in aid agencies and for the Red Cross and Red Crescent, that they are protected in their work, and are able to reach those most in need.  We pray that their coffers overflow with the funds necessary to alleviate suffering.  And we pray for peace.  For a durable, honest peace that impacts all the way down. That we encourage and facilitate that peace.  That we truly love the Syrians, and that we demonstrate that love in all we do.

** When I first typed this, I made a mistake and said .0008% but it's just .008%.

Update:  I always enjoy moments when I agree with my friend Matt.  This is one of those issues, so I'd encourage those still intent on defending Phil - and those interested in Chrisitan thoughts on this - to check out his post here.

Duck Dynasty and the World: Part 1

I was supposed to do a situation for prayer a week, but I failed.  Massively, publicly failed.  I blame my PhD, and a book chapter, and a book, and multiple workshops, and a slew of other things, but ultimately I failed. So, I’m sorry.  One of the nice things about being a Christian, though, is that I’m acutely aware of how frequently I fail but how much I live in grace and love even when I fail.  Still, I’m trying this again – and just in time for Christmas.

Unfortunately, though, a lot of other Christians failed this week as well so they’re stuck discussing whether a rich guy on a popular TV show should be suspended from the show for saying things that were hurtful and dismissive of two vulnerable groups in our society – homosexuals and black Americans, who are racial minorities. In this discussion, somehow it is Christians who are being persecuted rather than the two groups that are actually vulnerable in our society. 

And by vulnerable, I’m discussing power dynamics and discrimination; not anything else that people will want to misconstrue vulnerability as. Statistically, blacks have a smaller share of economic and political power than whites and have therefore been subject to systemic discrimination. Statistically, the LGBT community have less power and are subject to rampant discrimination in civil rights and economic opportunities. 

Christians on the other hand?  Puh-lease.  

I’ve been around significant parts of the world – every continent but Catholic-dominant South America and our-slightly-more-rednecky-cousins in Australia – and there are few places where Christians wield as much power, and as much freedom to do and say whatever they want to do and say, as the US.  Yet, somehow whenever people suffer social consequences for saying things that hurt others, Christians in America feel they are the most persecuted people in the world.

To those in the Church who think Duck Dynasty is what we should be discussing, I respond solely with this article and a long list of things the US Church should care about a lot more than Duck Dynasty and anything associated with it:

-        A South Sudanese town was just taken over by rebels. Three UN peacekeepers, along with a large, untold, number of civilians were killed.   South Sudan is a newly established Christian-majority state formed after decades of religious-based violence – where persecution actually meant persecution.  Christians had been killed for their faith, arrested, tortured, beaten, etc. Now, the new state faces another armed conflict – this time both sides dominated by Christians killing each other for power, with ethnic divisions used to justify the killing – that threatens the future of the country.  So, when we pray about persecution, let’s pray for those who have been persecuted for their faith and who are now really being persecuted for their ethnicity.  Let’s pray for, and speak out against, South Sudan.

-        40,000 Gazans have fled their homes from flooding.  You know those beautiful pictures of Jerusalem in snow that were playing around the world? Well, that same snowstorm left an area the UN has describedas "one of the most densely populated areas in the world: with 40,000 new homeless people.  1/3 of the 1.4-1.7 million people in Gaza are currently refugees." They have no place to go – Egypt has closed its borders and Israel does not let many from Gaza into Israel, even for humanitarian reasons. Israel also unilaterally decides how much aid – food, fuel, blankets, housing materials – can come into Gaza.  When we pray for God’s kingdom come on Earth, let’s pray that those in Gaza receive the humanitarian assistance they need. That they receive God’s blessings here, and that we as Christians work to serve them as Christ served others, that we look for avenues and opportunities to ensure greater security for food and housing and health care.  Let’s pray for, and speak out against, the crisis in Gaza.

-        When Kim Jong Un executed his uncle, it was an indication of a coming reign of terror for North Koreans worse than they’ve faced in the past, and on par with the very worst dictators in the world. Then he threatens South Korea (by fax mind you), and that threat means the US may need to go to war. We have a treaty with South Korea that requires us to go into war for their self-defense.  So, let’s pray for, and speak out for, peace. Let’s pray for a changed attitude in North Korea, and for an opening up of space on that.

So, when I hear Christians in the US talk about how we need to be vocal on the rights of the Ducky Dynasty thing, I just think… is this really what the Church needs to be focused on?  And the thing is that these aren’t even the situations that I find most troubling in my heart right now…

I initially did this as one long post, but it's too long. So, I'll continue in a separate post.

On Obamacare and the Shutdown

When I'm home in the US - as I just was - one question constantly comes up:  Do you think you'll ever move back?

The truth is, I would love to at some point move back. I don't think I'm at a place career-wise where that makes sense right now, but there's also one, very practical reason that right now, I'm fighting like hell to find a way to stay in Europe: health care.

When I left for the UK, I had catastrophic health insurance. I was self-employed and with an extensive, scary family history of cancer, I was afraid that I would get sick and would go bankrupt if I had anything less than catastrophic health care. So I paid $150/month premiums in order to be capped at a flat $1,000 deductible. After that, everything would be covered up to $1 million / year.

One year, a single ER trip followed a series of routine medical procedures - pap smear, mammogram, yearly check-up with the doctor. That one trip meant I met the yearly deductible and my insurance kicked it. I knew then that as long as I was independent, I would need catastrophic health insurance.

Of course, my premiums were immediately raised to $300/month, doubling because of a single hospital visit. For those wondering, that was almost the same cost as my rent at that time (I shared a house and if memory serves, we each paid approximately $350/month). Now, I know my insurance was not expensive compared to my US friends who have multiple kids. But I was a single 30 year old, non-smoking female in good health without a history of anything serious.

At this point, I feel the need to translate the concept of premiums and deductibles into a UK term for my European-based friends, but I've never had to buy health insurance here so I have to use my phone insurance experience and hope it works. A premium is your monthly payment just to have health insurance, while the deductible is both the amount the claim must exceed before it kicks in and the excess you pay.

For my first year in the UK, I retained my US-based private health care. Even after learning I was covered by the UK National Health Service, I was afraid to give it up. Thinking I would return to the US in an uncertain job market, I didn't want to go through the pain of finding a new insurer - or try to anticipate what that cost would look like after time without insurance. So I paid over $5,000 to cover me for 18 months just so I didn't lose the right to be healthy.

For my UK and European friends, the concept of anyone paying $5,500 in addition to taxes just for a right to be taken care of is an insane proposition. Some of my friends know of my first trip to use English health care. I had one of those things women get that we need to go get an official diagnoses even though we know what the problem is. I called the Nurse's hotline to ask if I really needed a diagnoses or could pick something up over the counter. I needed a diagnoses. I explained I was American and asked how to use my health insurance here, knowing it covered me overseas.  She said she wasn't sure of the procedures in my area, but I would probably have to pay $25 and then submit the claim for reimbursement.

I went, got my diagnoses, and picked up the drugs from the counter as I'd been told to do. "How much do I owe you?" I asked, flipping my wallet open and putting my hands on two £10 notes. "£7.10" the sweet nurse replied.  "Oh, um, I think I owe you more than that.  I'm an American."

I said more about US health care than I intended.  As these graphs, compiled by Ezra Klein, indicate, as an American, I'm used to paying almost double the average cost to industrialised states. And according to an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association, that increased cost didn't get me better health care. It got me "mediocre" healthcare.

The nurse behind the counter looked at my slightly indulgently and said, "You live here, though, don't you?" "Yes, but I'm a student."  "Right, but you live here, so you only have to pay for the prescription."  "But, I'm a student. I think I owe you more money." "No, love, you live here so you only have to pay for the prescription." "But, I'm just a student. From the US."  "Right."  I could tell she was starting to lose her patience with my inability to accept free-ish healthcare. She reassured me the lady on the phone probably didn't realise I was a student, but it really, truly was free. Except for the £7.10 for the prescription.  If I was poor, that could be waived, too.

I left, set aside £25 in an envelope and didn't touch it for 3 more months, waiting for the bill to come. It didn't.

Then, there was the time I broke my leg. I got laughing gas and morphine, an ambulance ride to the hospital, x-rays (multiple), a cast, crutches, pain killers, and follow up appointments for the grand total of $ 0.  For those from the US, let me reiterate: that's not a typo.  I paid zero dollars.

Technically, I paid for those X-rays, etc., before and after through the taxes I pay.  But it was so nice in that moment to not have to quickly calculate how much money I had in my bank account, minus rent and phone and food costs to determine how much I could offer as a first payment towards my treatment.  I just sat there, begging people to give me water and getting a recurring 'no' until a doctor could confirm I didn't need surgery.

I also thought about how I would get home, when I should bother my friends with the information that I'd broken my leg, and whether I should call my parents before I learned about that potential surgery.  I never once thought, "Can I afford this?"

When the laughing gas wasn't working, I didn't hesitate to tell the paramedic it wasn't working. Well, that's not quite true. I tried the gas for about 7 minutes; it regulated my breathing but did nothing for my pain.  The US-trained part of my brain briefly thought, "Shit - can I afford --" before the UK side of my brain said, "Don't worry! You won't need to pay for a switch in treatments!"  I looked him in the eye and said, "This isn't working. I need something stronger."  He offered morphine; I said yes.  Within 5 minutes, I was feeling a lot better.

Then there was the cancer scare. I haven't told very many people about the cancer scare.  It happened over the summer, and I got the news 2 days before I left for Turkey. They set up the follow-up for the day after I returned.  Two weeks later, a letter informed me I was cancer free, but would need to be seen again in six months.

The other health issues were minor and I never worried that they would actually affect my ability to get health insurance in the US.  What I was concerned about was how my use of a national, universal, and foreign health insurance system would be counted by US insurance companies, who, prior to Obamacare and if they accepted you, had to cover pre-existing conditions if your insurance had not lapsed by more than 6 months. If they accepted you. At least that was the rule in Ohio.

It was the cancer scare that made me realise I actually only knew the rules in Ohio.  And even then, I didn't know whether the UK national insurance system would count as being "insured." Surely it would, right?

I only cancelled my almost-as-expensive-as-my-rent health insurance when I was back in the UK starting my PhD.  I realised I was staying for at least 3-4 years and that I would hopefully get a job teaching here after. I decided the expense of US-based health care was too much.  I was paying $3600 / year not to be insured in the present, but to protect the potential need for health insurance five years down the road.

That cancer scare, though, made me wonder: what if my UK coverage doesn't count?  What if returning to the US suddenly meant I couldn't get health insurance that included coverage for cancer treatments?

The answer is clear: I literally cannot return to the US but for Obamacare.  I would have to do anything I could to find a job or way to stay in the UK or Europe.  I would seriously need to update my online dating profiles.  I would need to be willing to accept jobs below my qualifications and to do things like teach property or wills and trusts, not exactly my go-to for excited teachings.  But I would do it if it would secure me the necessary right to remain.  The right to have a future cancer diagnosis covered.

That's ultimately what Obamacare - actually, the Affordable Care Act - is about.  People want to make it into something big and bad: a tax; socialism; government intrusion; new welfare; Hitler-esque notions of government.  But Obamacare is actually about allowing people to get coverage that couldn't get coverage under the old system. It's about giving people an opportunity to be healthy.

Some will get that through government assistance, but I am unlikely to be one of those people.  I am one of those people who are not only willing but able to pay into the system for insurance but who under previous rules would be unlikely to get coverage if I returned to the US - or at least unlikely to get insurance that would cover the thing I fear the most and the thing I would most need coverage for (cancer).

Of course, this is the second time that cancer has dictated life and career choices in my family.  The last time was after my mother's treatment for breast cancer in the 1980s.  It was before HIPPA - the health care privacy act that ensures if you're diagnosed with something your employers or future employers don't get to know about it unless you tell them.  It's the law that helps tamper down health-related discrimination.  Before HIPPA, my mother was told she was too costly to employ as a teacher; her cancer negated her excellence in the classroom and she took a job selling real estate. It's a nice job, and she's good at it, but I've always thought she should've been back in the classroom.  By the time HIPPA was introduced, though, her teaching credentials had lapsed and it would've been costly for her to go back and pass the classes necessary to get re-licensed.

We passed HIPPA because of the absurdity of situations like my mother's; we passed the ACA because of the absurdity of situations like mine:  that someone can be denied health care not for anything within their control, but for the very reason they would need health care, because they got sick.

Now the GOP wants to stop it and they are willing to sacrifice the good faith and credit of the US to do so. For reasons they haven't ever been able to really articulate, much less prove - unless "it's evil" and "it's socialism" are legitimate accusations.  But they aren't.

The ACA is one of the most capitalism-loving forms of universal health care. It actually mirrors the systems in the Netherlands and Germany. It allows for insurance companies to be competitive, while requiring they also do part of the job of the medical profession: ensure people who get sick can get better to the extent science and God allow, not to the extent their wallets can afford.

Yes, the ACA requires people to buy something, but it requires them to buy something that we as a society would have to pay for if they didn't buy it. In that sense, it encourages individual responsibility.

If I had never left the US, I still could have found myself in the same position I'm in now - cancer scare, no private insurance. It's the reality for millions of Americans, sometimes through their own fault, often times through no fault of their own.  If that had been the situation, I would have found out about the potential cancer after more symptoms developed, meaning after it had developed into cancer and had progressed to a stage where it is harder to fight. My necessary or emergency care would be covered by the government, meaning the other taxpayers.  And I would probably die because I wouldn't be able to afford the medicine or treatment. So the government would be paying not to get me better but to make sure my pain wasn't excruciating while I died.

Instead, the ACA gives me an opportunity for early diagnosis, takes the burden off other taxpayers to pay for my care, and gives me an opportunity to live. It gives me assistance in finding healthcare if I've had problems finding it, or if I'm still too poor to actually afford it.  And it does so while remaining true to capitalism.

The GOP wants to make the ACA some big bad socialist plot to kill America.  It's not.  It's a program for people like me.  And it's the only hope I have of returning to the US full-time in the future.